This tip might seem obvious, but when I go out I hear a lot of men

 

making the same common mistake: they don't listen!

Instead of learning more about the woman, they talk about how good
their job/car/life is in a futile attempt to impress the woman.

Most of the women I see are not impressed. In fact, the women are
obviously bored, but the wannabe Don Juan is too busy listening to
himself talk to pay any attention to her body language.

What impresses a woman is one thing: sincere caring. Women LOVE
attention. But it must be sincere. Women are good at detecting
insincerity.

Try this: try to maintain the 60/40 rule or even the 70/30 rule.
This means that you let her talk 60 or 70% of the time and you talk
only 30 or 40% of the time. Ask open-ended questions:

"How do you feel about..."

"What do you think about..."

Women LOVE to share their opinions. And they love being around
someone that wants to hear what they have to say.

As long as you make them feel special, they don't care what kind of
job/car/life you have.

 

 

Don Juan

 

bago pa man mabuo si Popoy...

sperm 1: pare, maghanda na tayo! malapit na tayong

lumabas!

sperm 2: onga pare. 1, 2! 1, 2!

sperm 1: ayan na pare lalabas na tayo!

SUGOOOOOOOD!...BALIK! TAE! TAE! TAE!

sumunod na oras....

sperm 1: pare, maghanda na tayo! malapit na uli

tayong lumabas!

sperm 2: onga pare. 1, 2! 1, 2!

sperm 1: ayan na pare lalabas na tayo!

SUGOOOOOOOD!...BALIK! TONSIL!TONSIL!

at sa sumunod pa...

sperm 1: pare, maghanda na tayo! malapit na uli

tayong lumabas!

sperm 2: onga pare. 1, 2! 1, 2!

sperm 1: ayan na pare lalabas na tayo! SUGOOOOOOOD!

*splat!*

condom...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

sa kabutihang palad ay nabuo rin si Popoy. at di

nagtagal...

Soki: honey!!! oras na! manganganak na ako!!!

Henry: talaga honey? o teka lang! wag kang gagalaw!

(biglang naghubad si Henry at ipinasok nya ang kanyang

batutoy sa batutay ni Soki!)

Soki: honey! anong ginagawa mo???

Henry: basta! akong bahala! POPOY! KUMAPIT KA!

KUMAPIT KA!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

hindi umepekto ang "delivering the baby" style ni

Henry, so dinala si Soki sa ospital...

doc: ayan ho Mrs., nakalabas na ang ulo ng anak nyo!

nabigla si doc ng ...

Popoy: hoy! ikaw ba Henry ko?

doc: hindi! hindi ako ang Henry mo! nurse halika

dito dali!

nang dumating ang lalaking nurse...

Popoy: hoy! ikaw ba tatay ko?

nurse: naku! hindi ako ang tatay mo! teka tatawagin

ko sya!

nang dumating si Henry...

Popoy: hoy! ikaw ba tatay ko?

Henry: oo Little Popoy! ako nga!

Popoy: (sinundot-sundot and noo ni Henry)

masarap ba yan ha? masarap?!

----------------------------------------------------

Isang araw, nung mga three years old na si Popoy, sabay sila naligo ng Henry niya nang mapansin

niyo yung etits ng kanyang Henry.

Popoy: Tay, ano po yan?

Henry: A, eto, a, eh, ano to ?ah ?. (nahiya pa ang

gago)

Popoy: Yan pong nakalawit na yan?

Henry: A, Little Popoy, eh, lumpia to.

Popoy: Tangnang lumpia yan, mukhang tite!!!

----------------------------------------------------

kinagabihan ..... nakita ni Popoy na dinidilaan ng

Soki nya ang betlog ng Henry nya...

Popoy: nay, anong ginagawa mo?

Soki: ah, Little Popoy, kumakain lang ako ng bola-bola.

Popoy: antakaw mo naman nay! may bola-bola ka

na nga, may lumpia ka pa!

----------------------------------------------------

nung hapon na.. nakita nya ang boobs ng kanyang

Soki

Popoy: nay ano yan?

Soki: wala Little Popoy, salbabida ang mga to.

Popoy: pwede ko bang gamitin yan sa beach

bukas?

Soki: hindi pwede Little Popoy kasi gagamitin ko.

Popoy: eh di yung kay yaya nalang.

Soki: hindi pwede Little Popoy. walang hangin yun e.

Popoy: imposible nay! ka-iihip lang ni Henry

kagabi e!

-----------------------------------------------------

Nang mga 4 years old naman si Popoy,aksidenteng

nakita niya ang bulbol ng Soki niya.

Popoy: Nay ano po iyan? Bat may buhok kayo

diyan?

Soki: Ah Little Popoy, wala iyan. Walis iyan.

Popoy: Tangina kaya pala kagabi nakita ko yung

katulong natin winawalis yung mukha ni Henry.

-----------------------------------------------------

nagtanong ang Soki ni Popoy sa kanya...

Soki: Little Popoy bat ayaw mong magpaligo sa yaya mo?

Popoy: e kasi nakakatakot sya! nakita ko

kahapon nung pinapaliguan nya si itay...

Soki: o anong nakakatakot dun?

Popoy: eh...nangangagat ng titi e!

-----------------------------------------------------

di nagtagal ay pumasok na si Popoy sa eskuwelahan at

di rin nagtagal ay nakilala na sya bilang class manyak...

teacher: class, ang gagawin natin ay, magsasabi ako

ng letter at magsasabi kayo ng word na nag-uumpisa

dito. okay, letter a!

Popoy: mam ako! mam!

teacher: ayoko sayo bastos ka e...okay, Miche?

Miche: mam apple!

teacher: very good! next letter b!

Popoy: mam! ako mam!

Teacher: ayoko sayo bastos ka e...

Nag-isip ngayon si teacher ng letter na walang

maiisip na kabastusan.

teacher: ok, letter z! o sige na nga Popoy, letter z.

Popoy: mam zebra.

teacher: very good! Ayan hindi na pala bastos si

Popoy.

Popoy: PERO 16 INCHES YUNG TITI !

-------------------------------------------------------

kumakain ng mani si Popoy...

Popoy: Miche, gusto mo ng mani?

Miche: ayoko, tinitigyawat ako sa mani e...

Popoy: ah ganon ba? ako sa mukha.

-----------------------------------------------------

Nasa isang mall si Popoy nang bigla siyang

ma-jingle. Pumunta siya sa pinakamalapit na CR pero

sarado ang men's room. Dahil desperado, sa women's

room na lang siya nag-CR. Nang palabas siya, nahuli

siya ng janitor.

Janitor: Hoy, bakit dito ka umihe, hindi mo ba alam

na pambabae itong CR na to?

Inilabas ni Popoy ang tite at ipinakita sa

janitor.

Popoy: E bakit ito, hindi ba ito pambabae?

----------------------------------------------------

crush ni Popoy si Isa kaya di nya ito tinitigilan

?... sinisiko ni Popoy si Isa

Isa: mam! si Popoy o! sinisiko ako!

teacher: Popoy! alam mo bang masakit ang

maniko?

Popoy: e mam, bat pa kayo pumasok?

---------------------------------------------------

Isang hapon, niyakag ni Popoy maglaro si Miche

Popoy: uy, Miche, laro tayo ng "wag wag"

Miche: anong "wag wag"?

Popoy: ganito lang...maghubad ka tapos papatong ako

sayo...tapos isisigaw mo, "wag! wag!"

---------------------------------------------------

binata na si Popoy, at nanliligaw sya kay Miche...

isang gabi, naiwan si Popoy at si Micheng nag-iisa sa

bahay...

Popoy: sige na Miche, pagbigyan mo na ako.

Miche: Popoy wag ayoko...

Popoy: sige na...

biglang nagbrownout...

Popoy: o ipapasok ko na ha?

Miche: wag Popoy ang sakit! aaaaaaaa!

sumindi uli ang ilaw. dugu-dugo ang ilong ni Miche.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Isang hapon, naglalaro ng tong-its si Popoy at

ang iba nyang mgakaibigan. Nandun sila sa bahay ng

kaibigan nyang si Junbag.

Problema lang, ang kulit-kulit ng anak ni Junbag na

limang taon pa

lang.

Sinisilip nya ang baraha ng mga naglalaro at

sinisigaw akung ano yung

baraha, kaya nasisira yung laro nila.

Dahil dito, na-bad trip na talaga si Popoy,

kaya hinila nya yung

bata at dinala nya sa kwarto. After 15 minutes,

bumalik si Popoy sa

mesa,na hindi na kasama yung bata. Tuloy sila nang

laro.

Natapos yung session nila nang madaling araw na.

Napansin nila na mula nung dinala ni Popoy sa

kwarto yung bata, hindi na bumalik para

mangulit.

Nagtanong si Junbag tungkol sa anak nya, "Popoy,

anong ginawa mo sa anak ko, pa'no mo napatigil sa

pangungulit?"

"Andun sa kwarto, tinuruan kong mag-jakol."

----------------------------------------------

Naguusap si Popoy at si Henry...

Henry: Popoy, anong gusto mong gawin paglaki mo?

Popoy: parang ginagawa mo tay!

Henry: ang galing naman ng Little Popoy ko! gusto ring

mag-doctor!

Popoy: hindi tay! gusto ko ring tumira ng katulong!

----------------------------------------------

Isang araw ng malapit ng ikasal si Popoy

Henry: Little Popoy, eto pera, sumibak ka muna para

magka-experience ka bago ka ikasal.. Maraming pokpok

dyan sa palengke.

Habang papunta na si Popoy sa Palengke para

maghanap ng pokpok, nakita siya ng lola niyang

malibog.

Lola: Popoy apo ko, san ba iho ang lakad mo?

Popoy: Dyan lang po sa palengke. Binigyan ako

ng pera ng Henry para kumantot ng pokpok.

Lola: Bigay mo na lang sa 'kin ang kalahati at ako

na lang ang sibakin mo iho.

Pag-uwi ni Popoy sa Bahay ay abot tenga ang

ngiti ng gago at kinausap agad ang Henry.

Popoy: Tay, nakasibak na ko. Nagpasibak sa kin

si lola. Kalahati pa bayad. May pambili pa ko ng bold

na tabloid.

Henry: Ano? Tangina mo bakit mo sinibak nanay ko?

Popoy: Tangina mo rin ikaw nga araw-araw mo

sinisibak nanay ko.

Minsan sa pwet pa!

----------------------------------------------

di naglaon ay ikinasal rin sina Popoy at Miche...

sa honeymoon

Popoy: o Miche, mag ano na tayo!

Miche: sorry Popoy ha? meron ako ngayon e.

Popoy: lang ya naman o...sa pwet nalang!

Miche: Popoy nagtatae rin ako e.

Popoy: bad trip...sa bibig?

Miche: inuubo ako e...*ahem! ahem!*

Popoy: putang ina wag mong sabihing may sipon

ka rin?!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

---------

Nagka-Little Popoy at Little Miche sina Popoy at Miche, isang lalaki at isang

babae. binata't dalaga na sila...

Little Miche: tay, peram naman ng kotse o...

Popoy: sige pero isang kondisyon. mag-ano muna

tayo.

Little Miche: tay meron ako ngayon e. blowjob nalang

kita.

Popoy: o sige.

pagkatapos ng blowjob...

Little Miche: tay, bat lasang tae yung etits nyo?

Popoy: ah ganon ba? hiniram kasi ng kuya mo

kanina yung kotse e!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

---------

lumipas ang mga taon at naging pulis si Popoy at sa

complaint desk sya naka-assign ng bigla nagcomplain ang ate niya na si Annie...

Annie: ser, tulungan nyo ho ako...ginahasa ho ako!

huhuhu...

Popoy: isalaysay mo sa akin ang nangyari

iha...yung detalyado ha ate Annie?

Annie: opo...hinoldap po ako ng isang mama, tapos po

ay dinala nya ako sa isang liblib na lugar. dun po ay

hinalik-halikan niya ako. Pagkatapos ay inumpisahan

nya akong hubaran. Una, ang palda ko. Tapos po ang

blouse. At ng naka bra at panty na lang ako ay sinalat

po nya ang aking...

Popoy: TAMA NA! TAMA NA! sa kabila ka na mag

file ng complaint!

Annie: bakit ho ser?

Popoy: tinitigasan na ako!

----------------------------------------------------------------

Hindi nagtagal sa pagiging pulis si Popoy at

nagtrabaho na lang sa isang restaurant bilang isang

waiter. Habang kinukuha ang order ng isang customer,

natabig ng customer ang kutsara niya. Agad namang

dumukot sa kanyang bulsa si Popoy ng kutsara sa

bulsa niya. Nabilib ang customer.

Customer: Astig ah! Lahat ba kayong waiter dito,

merong kutsarang ready sa bulsa?

Popoy: Opo. Meron kasi kaming "efficiency

expert" dito. Sabi niya,23.6% ng mga customer,

natatabig ang mga kutsara. Para makatipid sa oras

ng lakad, meron na kaming ready na kutsara sa bulsa.

Natapos nang kumain ang customer at kinuha niya na

ang chit niya.

Napansin niyang merong nakalabas na tali mula sa

zipper ni Popoy.

Customer: Bakit ka merong tali diyan sa zipper mo?

Popoy: Lahat kaming waiter dito, merong ganyan.

Nakakabit yan sa ari namin, para pag-iihe kami, hindi

na namin kailangang hawakan para ilabas.

Sabi kasi nung "efficiency expert" namin, 15.6% ng

oras ang nauubos sa pag-hugas ng kamay pagkagaling sa

CR.

Customer: Matanong ko lang, pa'no mo ibinabalik yung

ari mo sa

pantalon?

Popoy: Ewan ko lang sa ibang waiter ha, pero

ako ginagamit ko yung kutsara.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------

Isang araw, dahil sa sobrang bastos ni Popoy,

kinulam siya ng isang mangkukulam (siyempre, ano pa ba

yung kukulam sa kanya) at pinaliit ang tite

niya. Naging ga-munggo na lang yung tite niya!!!

Isang taon daw siyang magiging ganito.

Ngayon, syempre na bad-trip siya, kase pare tangna

naman, kahit sino kulamin mo at gawing ga-munggo lang

yung tite eh ma-ba bad trip, diba? Kaya siyempre

nagtanong-tanong siya sa mga matatanda sa kanya kung

paano maaalis

tangens, next week na birthday ni junbag at ni red. ano plano nyo? tangens, i wana get fuuuuuuuuuuuuucked up. everybody needs to get fucked up. sa mga may problema jan, magpakalalaki kayo - alam nyong beer lang ang katapat nyan. sa mga libog at tigang, magpakatotoo kayo - alam nyo namang walang mangyayari eh! inom na lang! at sa mga taong katulad ko na gusto lang uminom, makikisawsaw ako sa mga problema nyo, at hindi ako magjajakol ng 1 day para may dahilan ako para uminom. tara!

-

dboy1: tara?

dboy2: nas oyats?

dboy1: kahit san, bng.

dboy2: tara.

dboy3: tara.

dboy4: arats

dboy5: tara!

dboy1: tara

dboy2: arats!

.... sabay walang tatayo sa bench.

-

-

-

-

-

-

pero seryoso, kelangan talaga nating magpakawasak. kumpleto dapat. good times.

Currently feeling: chirpy

yes sab, madami na kami deep deep thought

yeah boy! next week na ung birthday/all hype grand D party. Jun, hindi nalang kami mageexpect para kahit supot medyo masaya padin..ng kunti. The grand D party, lets make the usual plans, overflowing chicks, unlimited drinks(hindi na kelangan bumili in the middle of the night), food(v-cut and chippy), a giant beer bong(wilkins bottle with several  tubes),  bad-ass sounds(ung bagong speakers ni isa), cool friends of friends, and lastly ARCADIA. Pare, im looking forward to it, un na magiging highlight ng year ko.

for our fellow dboy who's so into bertday na may boyfriend pala ng matagal

How to Be a Challenge to Women

Have you ever experienced meeting a good-looking girl at a club,
drinking and dancing with her all night, and toward the end of the
night she is tired of you?

That is because she does not see you as a challenge.  It may be
because you gave her the impression that you want her, or it may be
because you did not cut off your supply - or both.  I would like to
focus on the latter of the two -- cutting your supply off.

It is necessary to be charming, and convey to the girl that you
don't need her or are not interested in her (even though you are
interested).  But the true mark of a diamond player is developing
the art of "cutting your supply off."

Most guys can learn to be charming and pretend that they are not
interested in a woman, but they miss the key component that makes
the woman want to be with them -- cutting the supply off.

If you take a drug, you are on an exciting high, but when that
supply is cut short, you want more -- your demand for the drug goes
up.  Similarly, when you convey the image of a good-time guy,
adventurous, exciting, and then you cut your supply off from the
woman, her demand for you goes up!

Cutting your supply occurs in different contexts so it is important
to recognize your situation.

First, you may be at a nightclub and meet a sexy woman who you share
drinks with and dance with throughout the night.  You show her that
you are an exciting, good-time guy (charming), and you give her the
impression that you don't need her, or that you are not interested
in taking her home for the night (confidence).

But the last thing that most guys think about is leaving the girl
when things are going great.  This is where the diamond player
stands out from most guys.  The average guy would stay with her till
bar time.  And most of the time, this gives the girl a chance to get
tired of him.

And at bar time, it gives her the pleasure of saying, "Well, it was
nice meeting you, but I am going to go home with my friends."

I challenge you men out there the next time you are having a great
time with a pretty girl at a night club and it's about one or two
hours before bar time, say to her, "Hey, I'm going to take off after
this beer."

When you cut your supply off in this manner, I guarantee you that
she will see you as a challenge, and thus her demand for you will
skyrocket.  However, if for some reason she does not have a positive
response, that is, if she does not care whether you stay or go, then
staying with her until bar time is not going to magically increase
her interest level for you; and, at least, you saved yourself an
hour or two.

For example, I was having a good time with a very pretty girl at a
club, who I thought would not be too interested in me.  About an
hour and a half before bar time I told her that I was leaving after
my beer, and to my surprise she literally begged me to stay longer.
But I stuck to my principle and I left.  I swear the very next
morning she called me and wanted to do lunch.

When you do this, you stand out from most guys because women assume
that you are going to stay with them until bar time and that you
have expectations.  So, this bursts their bubble, and all of a
sudden you are in control and they see you as a challenge.

This principle can be carried over to other contexts such as phone
calls.  Again, cut your supply off.  That is, spend the least amount
of time on the phone and be the first to say goodbye and give the
impression that you have other exciting things to do.  Trust me, the
demand for you will go up!

This principle works not only with girls at clubs, but with
girlfriends.  Cut many of your dates short.  Be late for the date,
never wait, and leave early.

In short, frequent dosages of "cutting your supply short" will
create the demand for you and create a challenge for a woman and
make her want you more.  Remember though that when you do cut your
supply off, give her the impression that you have other exciting
things to do.  Don't do this with a cold attitude, but with a
good-time-guy attitude.

Charming, Confidence, and Cutting your supply off creates the
challenge in a woman to continually want to be with you.

 

Don Juan

college lunch break..

 

Dboy1: tangina gutom nako, kain tayo

Dboy2: san tayo kain?

Dboy1: kahit san yoko na world tops

Dboy3: san?

Dboy4: bng

Dboy5: arats

Dboy6: steady pako

Dboy1: arats

(after stumeady ng 30 minutes sa bench)

Dboy1: tangina gutom nako, arats

(dadating si dboy7 na may bagong kwento...)

Dboy7: pare ung friend ng friend ko...

Dboy2: nakita mo si...edi

Dboy3: poy chum, pasampal

Dboy4: yosi tayo

(pagkatapos stumeady uli ng 30 minutes)

Dboy7: tara kain tayo gutom nako

(while driving sa katipunan)

Dboy1: san tayo

Dboy2: kahit san

Dboy3: mcdo?

Dboy4:tangina 3 araw nako nadodomacs

Dboy5: san tayo

Dboy6: uuhhhhhhhh

Dboy7: pautang muna

Dboy1: tangina yoko sa world tops

pagkatapos umikot ng dalawang beses sa katipunan

Dboy1: Tangina world tops nalang nga ampota!

Are you someone who's usually at a "loss for words" or doesn't
know what to say to an attractive girl in a social scene, club,
bar, etc. You probably use these approaches...

"Can I buy you a drink?"

"Would you like to dance?"

99% of the time what do girls say to this?

NO!

The reason is:

1) They're not "open-ended" questions, which means they can only
be answered by yes and NO. They hear those things a 1000 times a
night.

2) Girls like to be mentally stimulated. "Can I buy you a drink?"
is BORING & DULL.

I have a great "opener" for you. It doesn't matter how beautiful
the girl is because saying this shows you're different, have
confidence, and that you're upbeat. Find the girl you like, look
her in the eyes and say slowly and softly:

"I BET you have a nice smile..."

Right after you say that, YOU smile and wait for her reaction.
It's a universal law that when someone smiles at you, you
naturally smile yourself. When you say this "opener" any
normal/clinically sane girl will either:

a) Crack a BIG smile
b) Smile & blush
c) Smile and say to you..."Thank You."

Once she does one of those you say, "Ah! See? I knew it." That
leaves you an open door to start a conversation.

If she ignores you or gives you a blank stare, guess what? She's
a bitch.

If that happens (slim chance) say "I guess not" and walk away.
She just did you a big favor and saved you time. Remember you
want a girl who is SWEET & FUN - not a nazi.

I've had tremendous success with this. Good Luck!

 

Don Juan

Halloween is for single guys what Valentine's Day is for couples.

I believe that it is the single easiest day of the year to meet
girls, get numbers, get dates, or get laid.

Why?

1. It's a FUN holiday. It's social, there are parties, and people
drink a lot.

2. Social deregulation. People can, for one night, step out of
their identities and be whoever they want to be. Girls won't feel
like sluts if they hook up because a) it's a special event and b)
people are supposed to "do crazy things" on Halloween.

3. Costumes. You have the easiest conversation opener in the
world: her costume! Take it one step further however and make
sure YOU have a truly original costume that makes you stand out,
so that they'll be giving you the attention.

A few examples of costumes I've had in the past: My roommate and
I went as Slash and Axl one year; he got a girlfriend out of it
and I got laid. Last year I went as a flasher, wearing a trench
coat with nothing underneath but a red paperboard sign with a
sloppy "CENSORED" scrawled diagonally across it. This year I'm a
Hooters girl, and already went to one party where I won 3rd best
costume and got constant attention from several girls.

So, put some thought into your costume and where you're going to
go, and you may find it to be the easiest success you've had in
years.

 

Don Juan

 

 

            The DBoys are an elite group of Ateneans whose charms and good looks are exceeded only by their inflated egos. Their sheer presence alone overflows with sex appeal and magnetism, causing erratic breathing, wetting panties, and tearing up homo-briefs wherever they go. You think THIS is an accident? A gift from GOD? Hellzno! The typical sleek, confident Dman as you see him today is a product of countless heartburns and ball busters inflicted by girlfriends, first loves, flings, crushes, high class ho-hoes, and the occassional hot yaya. To celebrate TEN YEARS of being a dboy, here are the TOP TEN DBOY LOVE SCREW UPS OF ALL TIME--

 

10. Jeffee confessing to a model friend that he has been in love with her for the past few years. “tables and chairs/ oak tree silhouettes/ .. will I be a page in your diary?/” The old i-wrote-this-song-for-you tactic didn’t work. Jeffee managed to sum up enough of his already very little self confidence to fess up to his unbelievably gorgeous gal-pal. She replied with the typical “I’m only looking for a friend” line. As it turned out, the cat and mouse game was only in his balding head.

 

9. Jupee’s big love reads about his feelings in his bedroom wall. Jupee keeps his love notes in his walls coz he doesn’t have paper.. coz he doesn’t go to school. When the apple of his eye and mouth accidentally finds out about his feelings by entering his room, jupee, realizing that the fat lady had already begun her singing, finally let out his true intentions. Sadly, Jupee’s holding hands and cuddling by the aircon fantasy wasn’t meant to be. He was again reminded of why he was a 25 year old virgin: he’s been a freshman at 5 different colleges for the past five years, he stinks, his goatee looks like chicharon hair, and his wardrobe which he fondly calls “the surfer look”, actually makes him look like an overfed hobo.       

 

8. Nico ends up with the girl. When this fresh new girl joined the bench, more than a couple of dboys turned their heads. The ditzy, high maintenance, dumb blonde-like newcomer was a breath of fresh air from the dgirlfriends who were starting to talk, look, and SMELL like the mutherfucking dboys. Efforts were made, roles were played, but bonarks ends up with the girl. It’s a love screw up coz it ain’t over yet.

 

7. He plays piano in the dark. Inspired by the love song, this tale is one of utter tragedy worthy of shakespeare. Brought up in repression and isolated from girls all his life, the now playah Dough Boy was once a pimply and overweight high school dork named Dennis Dan. After a few texts with a girl, double D misinterprets his teenage libog hormones and nervous butterflies in his balls into what he up until then had only seen in the plot lines of his porn movies: LOVE. He then proceeds to call up the girl, jazzes himself up , flexes his fingers, and plays BOYS2MEN after saying “I love You” through the celfone. The result, like his piano playing, was a classic.  

 

6. The Popoy strikes. We should have seen it coming. We should’ve heeded the Takusa pokpok’s warning when she told us that “Popoy” is actually a tagalog word for “fuck”. But with his boyish charms, good nature, and incredibly large poychumbutt, this candy cutie was simply too irresistible for the dboys. In a survey which included our comrades who are out of the country, POPOY emerged as the clear majority choice in the question “whom among the dboys would you trust to bring your drunk girlfriend home?” BIG MISTAKE. Popoy invites his bestfriend’s girlfriend over to his house and plops y tu mama tambien  in the DVD player. He develops naked pictures of her showering with another dboy’s girlfriend, and thereafter fingers her G Spot and fucks her brains out all the way to China. Eight months later the dboy forgives him, or so he thinks…. (as a precaution, yopi spreads out the WHAPACK!! rumor to forestall any attempts at payback from the dboys he’s wronged)

 

5. The Popoy strikes again. Paw man suspects one of the dboys might make a pass at his girlfriend. He says of one suspect “ hindi naman yan gaya ni Popoy, talagang alam mong walang gagawin...” Popoy promptly gets a blowjob from pawman’s girlfriend, and fucks her with his small, dark, pinyot.

 

4. THE POPOY STRIKES YET AGAIN!! This entry is for all the other things popoy has done to the girls which only some dboys know. For the sake of our friendship and sanity, these remain undisclosed. We don’t want any other dboys to turn to mormons.

 

3.It takes three to tango. When our resident zeppelin left for the UK to pursue his dreams of becoming the next Side A guitarist, our fellow DBoy musician kept his girlfriend company. A few years pass and the indie- movie like relationship continues to flourish. Apparently, their love for music isnt the only thing they have in common. What the hell, man!?!

 

2. For those who crossed the other side. This entry is for all those stories that happened when you mix dboys with not-so- D “BOYS”. For all the rubbershoes given, for trying to convince us to go skinny dipping. For all the secret crushes, for going with us to girly bars and not looking at the naked girls at all. For eating out a prostitute’s pussy. For the guy I saw in this class video with a boner when we spontaneously went swimming in our undies in arcadia. For kissing Red when he was crazy drunk and for whatever you did to him when he was all passed out. For all those male bonding moments that meant differently for you. As a dboy once oh-so-wisely said “walang taluhan!”  

 

..And the number one dboy love screw up of all time, the way I see it, represents everything that is fucking wrong wit all of us those ten, lean years.

 

1. Mark the spark. One dboy’s Unicorn for seven years reportedly rode another dboy like a horse at the backseat of his car. Nuf Sed.

Currently reading: Twilight
Currently feeling: nostalgic

Picking up on the previous entry, I would like to discuss and point out some things about who or maybe even what the hell a unicorn is. I wouldn't really know if "The Unicorn Theory" is one that we, as dboys had originally concocted but it is really, actually and FACTUALLY one that makes sense out of all our other crazy ideas. So here it goes.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, imagine what a unicorn looks like. A beautiful and majestic looking "unadulteratedly" white horse with a horn on its forehead. Does it really exist? Well, if we are talking about the aforementioned horse, who gives a fuck? But if we are talking about some of the women in the lives of some of the dboys, they do.. and don't.

Let's talk about our old rockstar dboy, "J". You see, J is one helluva beautiful man. Aside from the receding hairline and a forehead getting big enough to be the runway of a Boeing 747, he is basically "it". Rockstar serenading voice, chiseled abs, the works. He's got chicks trembling oh so erotically as he busts out some of his songs. Unfortunately, these stats did not matter when he confessed his true feelings to his unicorn, "D" (clue: her name ends with iday). He kept his emotions all bottled up until he mustered enough courage (and or stupidity, dammit boy, must have been the way you delivered your wussed up "i love you speech") to profess his true feelings and kaboom, he ended up just being friends and fucked up until this very day. See, "D" here, is a real unicorn. She's pulchritude personified and dammit, she's way too hot even for our friend "J". So good luck dealing with that shit for like all of eternity, my man.

Now, let's talk about our friend, "P". The fresh-from-outta-the-ashes phoenix. Yes, he was gone for a while but he resurrected as this muscle flexing poster boy for steroids and gym rats. My goodness just look at his new buffed out physique. But he has this problem of getting pver his ex, "D" (whose name sounds like donut, just remove the "t"). You see, even after years after the break up, he still couldn't get over this unicorn. She is by far his most precious girlfriend (and, might I add, the prettiest, hottest and damn most finger lickin' girlfriend a dboy had ever hooked up with next to Dizon's Jenny Rockett). But things were over real fast and until this day, his love sickness over this unicorn is apparently going back and haunting his heart. You see in this scenario, the unicorn was captured yet it could not be held onto. It's sad but I know you'll get over it, Arnold.

We couldn't actually and really talk about unicorn tales without our friend "R". Our visionary future lawyer hardcore fratman friend whose adventures and escapades of dealing with the enemy had actually put some behind bars. Good job, bro. But after 7 or 8 years of having fallen in love with his unicorn "K" (whose name could not be any clearer, if you catch my drift), had left him messed up until he saw the light in this sophisticatedly mature and oozing with intellectual sex appeal woman name "M" (duh, if you don't get this). But was his unicorn an actual unicorn? Hmm..I've got to tell you my story first.

Then there's me. A new apprentice swimming his way and trying to stay alive in the world of dating. A couple of years back, I couldn't even talk straight and right to a woman. I'm not saying I'm actually an expert in the field now but I've had my share. Anyway, I promised myself, after seeing some of my friends get all fucked up over some girl, that I will never have a unicorn. "Muthafuck the unicorns!" I said to myself until a woman with a kid named "T" knocked on the doors of my sexually charged and supposedly emotionless heart and filled it with so much promise only to let it the fuck down. You see, I've dated 7s (10 being the perfect in the scale) at most and as low as 2s in my life. But this 9 shows up (she would've been a 10 but she has this love child) and I was like "I'll make this one work." Well fuck that. It didn't. I thought it did but it did the fuck not. I was all hopeful because our 1 (yup one. Single. Uno) date was fucking close to perfect. It was a lunch date, yes but it wasn't like any other lunch date I had ever been on. She was supposed to have only an hour but we extended it to three hours. It was amazing. We had such chemistry and I was blissful. By the end of the date, we were kidding around and I was gently caressing her flawless and angelic face. When I brought her back to her office, she gave me a kiss near my fucking lips. Actually, I caught a part of her lip. Fuck this shit! I hate even remembering it! Our txt "conversations" and over the phone conversations were fucking awesome until they slowly dissipated along with my high hopes of ending up with the almost perfect woman. Until I found out months later that she is a fucking regular slut. Just as the aforementioned dboy's ("R") unicorns is. They were both just regular whores.

So what the fuck is the point I'm driving at? Sometimes (or er um.. most of the time) men just put the women they like on a pedestal until like becomes love. Instead of being just an object of affection and a prospective paramore, they become myths, legends and unreachables that we, as men, dare not pursue because we might end up getting hurt, heartbroken and ego-bruised. You see, the 4 of us made the mistake of making a woman our unicorn and placing them in a position so high only to see ourselves crash and burn like hopeless romantics (you know, the type of guy we find "putanginang supot ampota"). Another damn point is that some unicorns may exist. All majestic and unfuckingreachable all too good for a man to even attempt to like. Bu8t most of the time, they don't. As what my experience would suggest, sometimes, a unicorn is just a regular mare. Or instead of having 1 horn, they have 2, like monstrous creatures hiding behind the facade of beauty, they are just waiting to be fucked, if you had only had the balls to touch them sexually and assert that you want your rock hard penis to be inserted into their wet and deep vagina. So there. Don't be stupid. Don't make the mistake of making that mistake we fucking mistakenly made. Womwn are just regular human beings who want love and sex. Don't put them above you (well, if you're making love, maybe you can and it actually feels good). We are men. We are the fucking dboys for crying out loud. It is a given birthright to be with the women that we like. So the next time you see a possible unicorn, grab them by the horn and ride them up like there's no tomorrow. Kidding. Maybe you can do that too. Next time you see a unicorn, tame her. Maybe you'll be surprise with what she has to offer instead of wondering what she would have been like forever.

Currently listening to: miss independent remix
Currently reading: nothin, it's sembreak! wuhoo!
Currently watching: the clock until it's time for the parteh!